Fangs for the memories

Canada has a Dracul-action plan

Published: Nov 08 2013, 01:01:am


WHEN WE THINK OF Dracula, Bram Stoker's most famous creation, Canada is not the first place that comes to mind. Even so, the polite white north can claim its share of bloodsucking fiends. We take pride in the fact that Tanya Huff and Kelley Armstrong are among the best-selling authors of vampire fiction. Winnipeg-born Anna Paquin's Sookie Stackhouse (pictured above) is the star of True Blood, TV's long-running tale of a Louisiana vampire infestation. And four of the five features in the Twilight film franchise (2008-12) were filmed in Vancouver. So, it shouldn't be hard to imagine an all-Canadian production of Dracula. Indeed, like Doctor Frankenstein, you could stitch such a monster together from already-existing parts. All you have to do is remember who played the appropriate role in these four previous Dracula features:

    1. He wore the Transylvanian count's cape in director Mel Brook's Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995).

    2. As Abraham Van Helsing, he took up the vampire hunter's stake in director Patrick Lussier's Dracula 2000 (2000).

    3. As English solicitor Jonathan Harker, his hunt for Dracula was personal in director Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992).

    4. As Lucy Seward, she was the English rose courted, but not conquered, by the charming monster from the Carpathian Mountains in director John Badham's Dracula (1979).

    Further evidence of Canada's welcoming of the undead comes in the form of a recently unearthed re-imagining of the aristocratic vampire's story. From the following description, name it:
     5. Made in Vancouver in 1974, this rare early example of Canadian pornographic film-making starred Debbie Collins as a vampire countess who comes to the aid of a monster-making friend in her time of need.

1. Leslie Nielsen (1926-2010)
2. Christopher Plummer (b. 1929)
3. Keanu Reeves (b. 1964)
4. Kate Nelligan (b. 1950)
5. Sexcula (1974)

    For many years the subject of rumour and speculation, Sexcula was finally released on DVD in May, 2013. I may have been the first reporter to note its existence. My 1976 article Feature Films Made in Vancouver (written for Chuck Davis's urban encyclopedia The Vancouver Book), contained the following description:
    "SEXCULA (Sex-comedy, colour. 1973): p. Clarence Neufeld; d. John Holbrook; w. David Hurry; ph. John Goode. Sex-mad scientist Fellatenstein constructs Frank, a generously equipped monster, designed to satisfy her desires. When Frank fails to function, she consults her cousin, the vampire Sexcula. Together, they contrive to arouse Frank's interest.
    "Made locally for the American porno market, Sexcula is an explicit hardcore sex epic. Much to the chagrin of its producers, who have so far failed to make a formal distribution agreement, a print of their feature was stolen and is rumoured to be in circulation in the U.S."


The above is an original quiz by Michael Walsh, first published Friday, November 8, 2013.